Chapter six: The mating game

Ventus (Leave out all the rest) July 3000


I sat on my bed, staring at the far wall. Though really, my mind was wandering into nothingness. I was zoned out. My mind had gone completely numb since that time last night. I had no idea how to describe the way I felt; I was so high with happiness whenever I could be with Terra, and at the same time I had an oppressive amount of sheer nervousness growing inside of me, taunting my gut.

I mean, at some point, wouldn't Terra and I get caught? We couldn't keep secrets forever; especially from our creator, Xemnas.

He would catch on sooner or later…

The guards were also pretty perceptive and alert. Just because I had the opportunity to sneak out some nights, didn't mean that I could get past them every night. They'd wised up because of dealing with my disobedient, restless behaviour. And for the noobs, it wasn't exactly difficult to catch the gossip that both employee and Nobody spread around about me. They kept word about me anything but hushed.

'The instigator this, the nuisance that.' 'Hey did you hear what that no-good, mischief maker did today? 'What a loose canon.'

I wasn't exactly the most popular Nobody around… Well I was, but not in a good way.

"When do you think Roxas will come back from visiting Axel?" Sora suddenly said excitedly, sitting cross-legged on the floor, "I hope it's soon. Axel said he was gonna do something for Roxas and I wanna know what it is."

I shrugged sluggishly, unable to care. "Good for him," I muttered. I didn't care what Roxas' mate did for him; It all added up to the same thing: All Axel wanted was to look all goody-goody for my brother so that Roxas would accept the whole forced relationship thing. What was so exciting about that? Exactly; nothing. Everything was forced… and I didn't want Roxas to get sucked in by it. Especially when he was closer to being on my side about the whole mate selection theory.

It wasn't right.

"Ven, you should care. It's our brother I'm talking about. Aren't you happy for Roxas? He has a mate who's kind enough to try and cheer him up," Sora explained, a hint of disappointment in his voice considering he didn't like my lack of 'understanding.'

I rolled my eyes, "I get it. Just because this whole 'forced relationship' thing is good for you, does not mean it's good for me, okay? I'm allowed to have my own opinion."

"But why deny your purpose? May as well make the best out of it considering this is how you're going to live for the rest of your life," Sora continued, his gaze locked onto the wooden tiles of the floor. His tone sounded dull… despairing.

My own expression became somewhat melancholy as I bit at my lip. I didn't want to talk about this any further. I didn't want to keep fighting with my brother about it. It seemed like we were doing that a lot lately. I didn't like to see him sad, and he didn't like to see me sad; so I just left it at that and so did he.

… Though we didn't speak again until our baby brother came back.

"Hey," he said as he walked in through the door. I noticed a guard over his shoulder and I had to keep myself from glaring at him.

"Roxas!" Sora practically jumped on him, knocking him to the floor, "How was your time with Axel? Good?"

I was startled when a delighted smile spread onto his face. When was the last time he'd smiled? Why was he smiling? What kinda crap had that Axel character fed him?

Sora's own expression beamed as he took Roxas' hand eagerly, bringing him over to the bed where I sat. They sat on the floor next to me. "Okay; Tell me exactly what happened!"

Roxas' expression grew sheepish as he gave a modest nod. "Alright," he started up bashfully. I only stared at him hardly. I wanted to know the reason for his sudden change in behaviour. There was no way some mate of my brother's was going to convert him… "I didn't really want anything to do with Axel before," I noticed the particular use of 'before', "But now… I'm not really sure. I mean, I don't want anything to do with him sexually. I don't feel ready for that. It's just, he seems like a nice guy. I feel bad for ignoring him before and all, but I'm still not sure. He's sweet… but… " he paused to bite his lip and lower his gaze, "there's still a part of me that doesn't want him around me. I have nothing against who he is. It's what he represents."

I nodded in agreement, trying to look understanding.

He took a deep breath, continuing, "He said something really stupid. Appealing but ludicrous… He said that no matter what we're forced to do we still have our own choice as to what we see each other as; Friends or lovers."

I couldn't help but chuckle in irritation at that one. I just knew this Axel guy was only some desperate Breeder who was merely controlled by his hormones. How could someone actually say that? It was obvious that things couldn't be that way between them. They were forced into a relationship, and not as friends; as forced lovers! Was it normal for friends to engage in sexual activity nearly everyday (once the Bearer went into heat anyway)? No.

"It's just… I'm glad he's trying to help me, but it's a little hard to think of us as only friends when we both know we'll have to do things that friends don't do together. Friends don't carry each others babies…" Roxas said in a hushed whisper, his tone sounding strained as he brought his head back up.

Sora smiled sympathetically at our brother, placing a hand on his shoulder gently, "Think of it however you like, Roxas. Friends can carry each others babies. Back when most of the population in the real world could have babies naturally, there were plenty of surrogate mothers; whether it was a sister for an infertile sister, or a friend for a friend."

I only shook my head in response to that. We HAD to be more then friends; no choice. Otherwise, wouldn't we be able to have a partner of our choice? If this was all about carrying babies for friends, things wouldn't be this way. We'd have more rights; more freedoms. Why couldn't Sora see that?

I was horrified when Roxas nodded slowly, a light smile forming on his lips.

He was believing what Sora said! I couldn't believe this! No, I couldn't believe those two!

"Roxas…" I whined, climbing off of the bed so that I fell onto the floor beside them, "I thought you agreed with me."

Sora shot me an angry look as Roxas' features became grim… uncertain. "I'm sorry, Ven. But I'm just confused right now, okay? Leave me alone about that. We can't change it anyway…"

I only sighed heavily at his gloomy attitude. I was living proof that we could change our lives. I didn't let myself fall into some 'we have to do what we're told' state like most of the other Nobodies. I played by my own rules by going with the Nobody who I did love. I wouldn't force myself to love someone just because Xemnas wanted me to.

"Yes we can…" I quietly said, hoping that they'd hear my hushed tone, while at the same time hoping otherwise. They didn't know about my 'forbidden' relationship with Terra. They didn't need to know. They'd probably be against it; especially Sora. But when you thought deeply about it, which relationship was more forbidden? A forced one, or one that revolved around the person who you truly loved?

Sora and Roxas turned their heads to stare at me, looks of absolute horror written on their faces. Their blue eyes were wide with concern and fright. "Ventus… do you realize what you just suggested?" Sora asked me in a low tone. Roxas remained quiet at his side, staring at me worriedly.

"Yeah. It's called the truth, Sora. We shouldn't have to be with some guy we don't want to be with. We should choose; even if it means doing it behind these people's backs," I interpreted desperately, hoping for their understanding considering that was my situation. If they didn't understand… then how would I ever tell them about me and Terra?

Would they betray their own brother?

"Ventus. I don't want to hear of this anymore. It's wrong, unfaithful, and it goes against our destiny. We're mated to certain people for a reason," Sora fought back, raising his voice to a clear 'get it through your head' tone.

I only lowered my head in shock, shaking it from side to side slightly as I whimpered under my breath, my expression growing pained.

"We're not prostitutes, Ventus. We're professional tools used to repopulate mankind. Start acting like it…" his expression softened suddenly, "But… that doesn't mean we can't enjoy our lives. Life is however you make it, Ventus. By acting this way, you're only making it more difficult for yourself."

"Prostitutes?" I growled, my facial expression growing tense, "Don't say stuff like that when you don't even know what you're talking about!"

Surprising them, I stood up from the floor, rushing over to my bed and throwing the covers over myself. Anger bubbled to the surface of my mind, making my breathes come out in hisses. How could Sora say something like that! A prostitute? A cheater? A slut? Was that what I was? Would he still say stuff like that if he knew that I was committing adultery?

It felt like someone had suddenly boiled the blood that ran through my veins as I clutched at my pillow with a tighter grip.

"Just leave him be… he needs time to cool down," I suddenly heard Sora say to Roxas as I heard a set of footsteps step up from the wooden floor- probably Roxas.

I only continued to squeeze at the fabric tighter, gritting my teeth in hateful anger…

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It was later on that evening that I sensed it…

Heat.

The scent hit me suddenly with a force that felt like a brick wall. I stood up from the bed, walking slowly towards the door. It was nearly like I was in a trance. It felt like gravity was pulling me, urging me that I find the Bearer who was undergoing their fever-like state… The scent called out to me…

"Ven?" I heard Sora's voice, and turned around to look at him for a brief second. He was sitting in the far corner of the room with Roxas, playing Texas hold' em. "What's wrong?"

"Heat…" I whispered softly.

My two brother's jumped up almost immediately, letting the playing cards scatter around the room as they let go of them in midair. "Ven! Ignore it! Try and control yourself," Sora cried as Roxas took my arm roughly, trying to lead me to the rim of the bed. I didn't resist, I made myself listen to them- I wouldn't let myself hurt my own brothers… not for something as shameful as this.

I sagged down against the bed frame, resting my back against it as I brought my knees up to hug against my chest. I rested my chin on my knees, peering out at my supportive siblings.

"Who do you think it is?" I asked in a quiet voice. My guess was that it was that blonde kid from before. He probably wasn't pregnant, so his heat continued. "I hope they get whoever it is soon… It's driving me crazy."

That was the truth too. If I was told to be one of the Breeders who had better control then some, and I was going berserk, I didn't even want to imagine the Breeders who had a hard time ruling over their instincts. Did they completely lose it? Was I only 'good' at governing myself because I could keep my own mind in control for a set period of time?

That was a scary thought…

And yet, I still believed that being a Bearer would've been a better life for me, even if it was pretty dangerous.

"Ven…" Sora murmured my name gently, brushing a hand through my blonde locks comfortably. He was trying to comfort me- take my mind away from everything else. Asides from the feeling of 'wanting' whomever was in heat, I also felt sick inside. I was disgusted with myself for wanting a stranger so much. The lust was truly nauseating.

"Don't worry, it'll all be over soon, okay?" Roxas joined in, patting my back.

I made a small nod, lifting my head up to the sound of footsteps from outside of our room. I began to feel more ill as a hand fiddled with the doorknob, opening it and entering our room. A guard poked their head in through the doorway, their eyes looking as if they lacked sleep.

I felt my lip tremble, my whole body soon followed, rocking violently. I knew what they wanted… The thought of it made me feel even more queasy.

"W-what is it that you want?" Sora asked in a shaky tone, staring up at them with anxious eyes. Even he knew…

Roxas seemed uneasy himself, staring at them with wary, blue eyes.

"We need you, Ventus. The time to pass on your children has finally come. You have reached the maturity point; you're now an official Breeder," the guard stated, almost proudly.

I stared at him with wide eyes, unable to take in what I was hearing. It seemed that Roxas and Sora were the same; speechless.

I scrambled up from where I sat, my eyes growing wild with fear and uncertainty. "There must be some mistake…" I choked, feeling a sharp, burning pain form from behind my eyes as I pressed myself against the surface of the far wall. The guard gave me an impatient look.

"Ven," Sora looked at me, distraught, his own hands shaking as he brought them out to touch me. He hesitated, unable to come up with a way to comfort me. Distressed, I directed my misty gaze to Roxas.

"What do I do?" I whimpered, tears escaping from the corners of my eyes. They slid down my face silently as my mind went into a bewildered state. One hundred different emotions zoomed through my consciousness all at once, confusing me greatly- overwhelming me.

And yet I knew what I had to do. No matter how I felt, was there any way to avoid this? I pushed myself enough to make one step towards the waiting guard, then two, then three. Before I reached the doorframe, the guard took me by the wrist, leading me away from the room roughly. I followed, feeling completely hollow inside.

I didn't know what to expect… what to do… how to feel.

All I knew as I was locked in the large, dimly lit quarantined room was that I was truly afraid… more then I'd ever been.

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I stumbled back to my room, feeling extremely cold and lifeless. I felt so lousy and sick.

When the guard opened the door to my dorm room, I went inside without saying a word. He gently shut it behind me, and I slumped down onto my knees, feeling like I wanted to cry again. But I was already drained of fluid, and was unable to.

Instead I stared down at the floor with a hard, dull gaze, wanting to die right there.

"Ven!"

"Ventus!"

Sora and Roxas cried as they threw themselves from the bed towards me. Their faces were plastered with extreme concern. "Are you alright?" Sora stroked my back gently, "You look really pale."

I hissed in a breath, hunching over slightly as the sick feeling in my stomach only worsened. "What do you think?" I murmured sharply, though quietly.

"Was it…" Roxas swallowed thickly, "hard?"

I let out a disgusted chuckle, squeezing my eyes shut at the reminder, "I hate myself… does that clarify everything? I'm a sick, twisted breeder. I feel like I… like I just raped him." The last bit came out in a sob as I stared down at my trembling hands. Sora's eyes grew warmer with sympathy as Roxas eyed me crossly.

"What are you saying! You-" Roxas began heatedly, but I cut him off with another remorseful whimper;

"I had sex with him, Roxas! He didn't even want to… but I… even though I was scared stiff, my damned instincts wanted him so bad… I… I hate myself for wanting him like that. I'm a… a terrible person," I broke down into tears, hunching over fully so that my head, which shook lightly from crying, was hidden and my forehead was nearly touching the floor.

I forced my eyes shut, though the tears still managed to seep through, as I bawled my eyes out, hoping for my life to end…

Could my life get anymore complicated?

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As a matter of fact, it could.

The next day, the guards and Xemnas demanded that I pack my stuff. I had forgotten that detail. Now that my partner was going to be undergoing heat continuously, we had to move in together. I had to move into his dorm room. Xemnas did that with every couple who had already matured and was going through their cycle of heat.

I didn't mind that too much.

Sure it was heartbreaking having to split up from my brothers, Sora and Roxas, but this way I would be able to see Terra all the time. We could be together. Though I was nervous about facing him. Considering Hayner was his roomie, he would've known that he'd gone through heat. And being his partner, Terra knew what my role to fulfill was.

Would Terra be angry that I'd lost myself to my instincts? That I'd actually gone through with it? Or had he been expecting me to refuse when that time came?

I guess I'd find out once I moved in.